scariest day OF MY LIFE!!!!

so i invited bradley over my house, while nobody was in but me. he lives 40 minutes away so it was a long time in which something could have gone wrong. thank god nothing did. so i was freaking out for 40 minutes when finally he got there! he came in with messy hair, a funny shirt and some kakis!^^
i showed him around the house and then we kissed a little in the kitchen. then we went into the living room onto the couch and kissed forever. he gave me my first kiss and it was magical!^^ then i told him he had to leave ( cuz we were pushing it on time, my mom was due to get home in like 15 min.) and he went to his car. i stopped him before he left and gave him one of my special pieces of jewelry, my FMA cross. he drove away and 5 inutes later my mom came home!!!!!
xD
if he got caught he would have been sent to jail, and i wouldnt have gotten half of the things i wanted for my birthday!!!
it was truely the scariest day of my life!^^

.//kyros~

new guy

well its been a while, but im still here^^
so after the 7th (literally) try with janto get together, we decided to split up. it kinda made me sad, but it really wasnt getting anywhere. so i was single again and bored, and i happened to be on face book and decided to go find someone new. i have this r u interested app on there and i started using it again. thats how i met him^^
his name is bradley
he's 18
he's really not normal (and i like it xD)
so i started talking to him and more and more we started to have things in common. now what ur thinking, like everybody else does, but hes not a pedofile, stalker, or rapist!xD hes just a guy who fell in love. i think hes cute and he treats me well, ill get to more specific events in my next post.
so basically, i love him!^^ not much more to say~

.//kyros

i outed to MY MOTHER!

yeah, thats right. i told her everything. the best and worse part of having a childrens psychologist as a mother is that they understand you. my mom was completely ok with it, and i kinda knew she would be. i dont know why i ever kept it from her. i mean, has anyone ever felt that keeping a secret to yourself gave you a feeling of self richeousness? i felt kindof dizzy after it all, but it was a more free feeling. my whole reason for telling her in the first place wasnt just to let her know. it was more about me, rising to another level in life. and i feel that accomplishment now. it warms my heart to know that i have someone standing by me through all my troubles. i can tell her anything...except i dont really want to tell her im dating yet. that is a different story, and ill save it for another discussion.
i want you all to know that another part of the reason i did it was because i heard all the stories from you guys and was inspired^^ thanks for the extra push!
with love always,

.//kyros

his birthday

he postponed it again!!
im not a full on religious guy, nor am i completely superstitious, but when plans dont work out 5 times in a row, my whole being tells me theres something wrong. i really didnt know what i was doing but i did something bad. i wass so frustrated and at the brink of insanity. i called him, he didnt pick up, and i told him that we should just be friends, until school starts atleast. i was going talk to him about it, so he didnt feel bed, but he didnt answer. now all day today i called him an theres no answer. he ether lost his phone or he is really ignoring me. i dont know what to do...

.//kyros

real quick relationship stuff^^

i got him a shirt with an apple juice carton rawring on it^^^
hes gunna love it!!
were goin to sunsplash for his birthday.
k gotta goes, peace

.//kyros~

the relationship, continued.

currently, we havent seen eachother in person since we were in school.
the reasons:
well first of all, our mothers are the kind that shelter their children. except his mom is worse than mine. ive made 3 attempts so far to see him and theyve all failed cuz his mom wont let him do anything!!! she lets him know wheather or not the day of, leaving me in the dark until the very end, waiting only to have my hopes get shattered time and time again!!!
the first date i planned was to go with some fiends to an arts festival held downtown every first friday of every month. i ended up going and having a kinda fun time (i was with eric xD) but it would have been funner with him.
the next one was to the movies to see up. my plan was invite acouple people and tell them to not come, so it would end up just me and him. this wouldnt be unusual because when i plan things, my result always ends up with like one or two people coming ( i envited 7 eople to first fridays, one came...). everythignwas according to plan until he told me that morning that the only way it was going to happen was if it was at a thearter closer to him. guess what. it didnt happen.
the next one, i didnt even plan. we were both invited by a friend of mine and he wasnt able to go. thats good cuz i wasnt eather, but the end result is that i still didnt get to see him!
his birthday party is gunna be this sat, and i hope i can go, but u never know...
(his actual birthday was last sun!!^^)
anyways, ill tell u how it goes^^
till later, peace

.//kyros~^^

ok^^the relationsthip!!

sorry for the longer than promised wait. this summer has been busier than i thought. and u guys have the right to be mad.

but on a lighter note,
my boyfriend!!!
well while i was away for like munths, i had to finish school. in fact i didnt even start dating till after school ended!!O.O
the story starts on a tuesday night, only like 3 days after school ended. i was txting him because i was bored and me and him would usually just fight and call eachother names (for fun of course)^^. so i was talking to him when all the sudden the conversation drifted to me talking about him being kindof attractive (i liked his hair!xD). so i already saw he dated a girl, so i asked him if hed want to broaden his horizons as a joke, and he said shure!
but thats not even the end of it...
we talked about stuff for a while and then i, under the impression that he understood the meaning of "broadening your horizons", asked him if he would have ever concidered dating me before? he said " u mean goin to hang out sumtimes? yeah sure." so i had to say " no i mean a relationship.. like dating" and he said he wasnt gay, even if he didnt know it yet. so i said "it never hurt to try" expecting the usuall responce of im strait. instead, he said " fine, your a nice person. i guess it never hurts to try."!!!^^
so after that we talked about personal things nd got to know eachother.
he told me that i shouldnt tell anyone about it, but i couldnt help it and it slipped...to every person from school i got in contact with, except the people i don like.
well ive never had a relationship before, but i guess ill just find out how it goes^^
i got a bi boy!!!^^
.//kyros~

updates!!

updates!!!!!
my character list is revampped. i added the blue, so you can look for that^^
oh! and any comments about the character updates, you can put them on here. if u got anything to say to emily especially, it would rly help her.

well thats it for tonight. my bro is watching. ill add the rest to morrow!!^^
love you all,
peace

.//kyros

now hold on!!!!!!!...im back^^

just when u thought i wuz gone!!!(i would have been in like an hour!!O.O)
i come with mucho news, and ill fill u in with it all momentarily. i just have to remember it all!
. updates on guys
. character list!!
. a lover!(ull love this one)
. my summer

if i remember anymore ill be sure to write them, so get ready to be blown away!!!^^

.//kyros^^

hiya!^^

i knooo i really owe you guys an appology, you guys support my work even when im not here, and i thank you sooo much!
its nearing the end of the school year and theres alot that im duing right now, but don be worried, i will put my heart and soul into this blog with the time that ive missed.
stay tooned for a massave revamp on the characters list and believe me, ul like what i have to bring.
new boys
new friends
new fantasies
new crushes
and sompthing like a relationship?!?!?!
wait for this and im sure youll forgive my absence!
well bye for now, but i will be back!!!^^
love you all,

.//kyros~

bum bum bumm. naw jk

well im really sorry i havent been on for like weeks now, im veryy verryyyyy busy. but i will write alot more soon. spring brake is in a week and then ill have time.




i have stories, youll be happy^^

meeaaawwww~

thx u guys for the support. i was over reacting. they actually are kinda cute together^^. on top of that i think i might snag someone. cant talk now but i will get back to you guys^^, see u when i see u. oh! and happy almost valentines day, i hope u all have one, i might! well seya^^

~.//kyros

life sucks

its been a while again, and im srry im not on more.

im really pissed!!! shane took my one chance at a guy. i went to school with him for like ever without knowing. his name is liam, cute, awsum hair, really nice. ive actually had conversations with him. then i found out today he was taken. i texted him sayin i love you, just for kids ( kinda) and he replied with aww im sorry im already taken by shane. WTF, that pisses me off. i love shane, i think hes cool and all, but i was working on this for a while then he steps into the picture ( this year!) AND TAKES HIM AWAY FROM ME. life sucks. im thinking of giving up on guys at my school. there are some, but they never work out. see there are some flaws to my school...

peace, kyros

to all the new people to my blog, thx for subscribing!^^ and i would like to ask that you read the beginning posts because they help you understand exactly what im talking about!X3, once again, thx.^^ peace


.//kyros

big ideas!

its been so long since ive gotten on and im really sorry again. so this time, im going to give the scoop on alot of different aspects that have changed.



anthony and shane: ive decided that im going to simply accept them as just friends, and if anything happens <3, then anything happens

anthony: my school went to disney land and i didnt go so one of my friends brought me back a lollipop. then all that day, ( because it stuck out of my pocket) people kept steeling it from me. so i had to keep taking it back. then anthony took it and hid it in his lap while sitting in a huddled position. i walked over, slid my hand right into his lap, and pulled it out. the top of the sucker was almost directly on his crotch, a centimeter more and i would have been raping him. but im a good person and i didnt. surprisingly, his reaction to my hand near his crotch wasnt shocked ( like everyone elses near us). he was actually relaxed the entire time, didnt say anything pointing out that i almost violated him. it was almost like he enjoyed it. im going to keep you updated on this one...^^

alex: the girl alex was obsessed with is going out with his best friend. hes ok with it but still, i feel sorry for him. he feels kinda like a loser.
he still tells me he loves me and now he says he wishes he were gay so he could love me T^T, its really cute and sad at the same time. he is the best guy friend i could ask for. he says he doesnt know why i love him so much, and i think that despite everything, he's still a good person, and thats why.^^hes another person that i just cant live without in my life. and so im going to stand by him through everything!

emmi: i dont know if i told you guys this before, but emmi is the one that outed my homosexuality to my entire grade. now dont get me wrong, i love the girl to death, but that just pissed me off a little. i was doing ashow with her and one day she asked me if i was gay and i said yes. so naturally, when you tell someone sompthing as important as that, they wouldnt idely throw it around. so the first day of school came, we all were together in one clump to represent our grade and she sat on my lap and was being really touchy feely. when people came over she would say stuff like, " oh, dont worry, hes gay" and, im not doing anything, he les boys anyway" . this was the time when i was afraid to tell people outside of my closest friend circle. this was the time when i was scared that all my guy friends would treat me different and all the girls wouldnt shut up about there buisness. i didnt want to bee seen as that gay guy named ___, i wanted to be seen as myself with that as a simple charicteristic. at that moment, i wanted to beat her head off! but then i noticed that people accepted it, and some people even praised me for it, so it was ok.
the odd thing now is that she is openly a lesbian and she didnt say anything back then. now she has a girlfriend and is telling everyone. now here comes the net part:
i hope i dont affend anyone but lesbians confuse me. it can be said that most gay guys are born that way and that they attract eachother with feelings ( mostly sexual) , while lesbians dont have as much pull. some girls become lesbians because there tired of men and they need someone more understanding. but that would mean they are looking for love and yet all i see is a lustful friendship. guys have guy friends that they have fun with and they talk about girls with, and girls have there girls to talk about boys with. however, which group do you think has the potential to be closer. you dont see the straight boys holding hands and kissing because there tired of women. its not that easy. men are eather gay, or they stay away from that type of relationship. but women can simply be justified as lonely girls simply wanting a taste of the wild side.now hear this, im not against lesbians, i just simply dont understand the feelings brought on in the partnership.
(now please, dont comment on this particular issue, i dont want alot of debate about it, its just what i think. i also will never push these ieas onto anyone i know. im just sharing a thought i had. one more thing, remember that im realy not a mean person, because i dont want to be seen as one, i just enjoy sharing ideas with you all. please dont gt angry at me.)

thats the scoop for now, i made some adds to the friends chart which are going to be key for understanding the new stuff to come. the info in theredish color is all updates. i will update each time with a different color^^, ok thats it for now, peace~

.//kyros

eric^^

thank you all for the advice last post, it really made me feel better. my day was endless and im kinda tired. anywho, heres my story on eric.



before there was anyone else, any obsessions, anything, there was eric. eric is the one and only guy that has consumed my heart entirely for a long time.

back when i was first dealing with my sexuality ( about 10yo) and came to my wonderful school, i met all the people i talk about and more. eric is one of us, the pure ones, who have stayed and are going to stay the entire trip through my school. in the beginning, he wasnt really seen all that much. he was that kid who never really stood out. i didnt really even talk to him until about a year later. i remember in my second sumester in 7th grade, i was obsessed with him. i would think about what i would say to him the next day before i went to bed. i was OBSESSED!

so i tried hittng on him, but like in my last post, you can never really tell whos gay or not. on the last day of school he wrote that he was gay ( he was kidding :[ ) and that he loved me. i wrote the same in his. then i went obsessive crazy over that summer( i mean serious, constant planning on what to say) to come back and find out he acted the same as when we last saw eachother.

as time went on, i eventually accepted that he was strait and that i could never have him as a full on lover. yet he is a really good friend, knows im gay, knows i love him, and lets me touch him when i want ;P. he loves me in a non-gay man to man way, like alex does. im in a bad with him and we have alot of fun.

thx for readin another about another one of my obsessionsXD

desperate love

in my choir class, ( mens choir^^), i cant help but look at everyone. the two specifically are shane and anthony. they are complete opposites but i love them both.

shane is the cute one. he is really funny and, unlike everyone else, he actually enjoys what he does. he has a smile that could melt your heart and brown eyes like a puppy!^^ god! it feels like butterflies in my stomach just picturing him!

then theres anthony. anthony is the hot one. broad ish sholders, beautiful hair, ( fantastic butt^^), he is a hot child. he is also a trouble maker, doesnt care for the class at all, and has posture issues.

now you can see my predicament: go for a relationship or for lust. personally i want a relationship.

now comes the sad part. when i posted the going to write about next note, i was pretty confident about both of them. but now, i realize that even if they liked guys, could they really like me. shane, the cute one, sits right in front of me in that class and he usually looks at me alot, but recently, hes been looking at the guy next to him and mabe at me once or twice. and when he does, i dont know what to do! you already know that my school is comfortable with everything, so when boys act gay, you really cant tell if they are or not because there so good at it. ive done smiles, hugs, conversations, i even asked how his da was. T^T
another obvious problem is that i have alex right next to me! hes not gay, i know that, but when people look back and see us locking arms, tickling each other, saying i love you, it kinda looks like were dating. u read that story already ( if you havent its V -down there -V), so you know our friendship. but that leaves me with just a friend and a bunch of unsuspected possibilities shut down. they look at us and i know exactly what there thinking!
i just feel empty when i think about that...

.//kyros

another sorry

im sorry again for not being able to post. im soo busy. the point is im going to rty to post something ether tonight or tomorrow night. ok. bye for now^^
.// kyros