Alex~

now i know what could be thought, why am i posingone whole thing about one person. well, the truth is, i love him. he is also my best friend. he likes ( likes is an understatement, hes ubsessd.)this girl who is a friend of mine. during the show, the big black box ( the one i was taking about earlier), everyones everything came out. at that time we were friends, all three of us.

the open facts were:

• i was gay
• he was not
• he liked her
• she wanted to be friends
• he was( still kinda is) obsessed
• she is fed up with him
• im the negotiator between them
• they are some of my best friends, and now i cant hang with both of them together anymore

the internal ones were:

• i started to fall in love with him
• she could have ben with him, but he was just too mch to start with, she gave up the idea
• he is living a rough life and he needs all the good things he can get
• he has been rejected by love soo many times
• he takes rejection very seriously
• he thinks of himself as a lowly person
• " to live is to love, to love is to live, so if i cant love, why am i still living..." he said that...
• he treats me like he should treat a girlfriend, but somehow it doesnt come out right with them
• i told him " id stay with you forever" and he knows its true
• he denies that my feelings could ever be when i say i love him

i go for cute guys, and not just on the outside, but on the inside. he charishes me as a friend soo much, even though he is straight ( do think i stuped, i know him really well) he offered to give me my first kiss. how could you get sweeter than that. ive also done more things with him than with any other guy:

• i sit in his lap alot
• fingers through his hair
• he gives me piggy back rides, even though im his size
• ive held his hand( like couples do)
• ive shared a lolipop with him
• ive shared a fork with him
• ive shared icecream with him
• ive shared a meal with him
• ive given him a lapdance before ( dont judge me, im not a slut!XD)
• ive slow danced with him
• i even have a gay senior and a lesbian sophmore spying on us when one of us has to goto the bathroom and the other followsXD ( we really dont do anyhing)

once again, let me note that i go to a special school. there is no bias, no bulying, only a couple of kids that are really talked about ( and they brought it upon themselves), and the number one most important part, if your not open to gay, wether you are or not, you wont get very far socially with most people. that is what i mean when i say we are an open society and i am so priveledged to go here.

now that you kindof know the story, please let me know your ideas.

sincerely,

.//kyros