im going on vacation to cali, ill tell about it when i get back.

.//kyros

Alex~

now i know what could be thought, why am i posingone whole thing about one person. well, the truth is, i love him. he is also my best friend. he likes ( likes is an understatement, hes ubsessd.)this girl who is a friend of mine. during the show, the big black box ( the one i was taking about earlier), everyones everything came out. at that time we were friends, all three of us.

the open facts were:

• i was gay
• he was not
• he liked her
• she wanted to be friends
• he was( still kinda is) obsessed
• she is fed up with him
• im the negotiator between them
• they are some of my best friends, and now i cant hang with both of them together anymore

the internal ones were:

• i started to fall in love with him
• she could have ben with him, but he was just too mch to start with, she gave up the idea
• he is living a rough life and he needs all the good things he can get
• he has been rejected by love soo many times
• he takes rejection very seriously
• he thinks of himself as a lowly person
• " to live is to love, to love is to live, so if i cant love, why am i still living..." he said that...
• he treats me like he should treat a girlfriend, but somehow it doesnt come out right with them
• i told him " id stay with you forever" and he knows its true
• he denies that my feelings could ever be when i say i love him

i go for cute guys, and not just on the outside, but on the inside. he charishes me as a friend soo much, even though he is straight ( do think i stuped, i know him really well) he offered to give me my first kiss. how could you get sweeter than that. ive also done more things with him than with any other guy:

• i sit in his lap alot
• fingers through his hair
• he gives me piggy back rides, even though im his size
• ive held his hand( like couples do)
• ive shared a lolipop with him
• ive shared a fork with him
• ive shared icecream with him
• ive shared a meal with him
• ive given him a lapdance before ( dont judge me, im not a slut!XD)
• ive slow danced with him
• i even have a gay senior and a lesbian sophmore spying on us when one of us has to goto the bathroom and the other followsXD ( we really dont do anyhing)

once again, let me note that i go to a special school. there is no bias, no bulying, only a couple of kids that are really talked about ( and they brought it upon themselves), and the number one most important part, if your not open to gay, wether you are or not, you wont get very far socially with most people. that is what i mean when i say we are an open society and i am so priveledged to go here.

now that you kindof know the story, please let me know your ideas.

sincerely,

.//kyros

my week~ what a ride!!!

so it started out with homework, as usual. then on wednsday i had a rebooting period. i was soo down i even wrote a poem:

i look in the mirror and what do i see,

a poser is trying to pose just as me,

but if i am the poser; the poser is me,

then who is the poser trying to be?

ya, i know, depressing. the all the sudden BANG!! my life got soo much more exciting!
i went to thespian conference on friday to perform a one act ( i played an alluring box who consumes people by stripping them of there inner morals, belongings, and utter dignity until finally, i eat them. :X such a fun play!^^) and there were soo many beautiful gay guys i was almost consumed myself!XD it went great, we got a superior and were by far better than most performances the judges had seen in years! then afterwards, i had to leave ( im not a thespian yet but if i get into the school play, i will be come spring!!^^) and i partied on a bench with my friend alex. did i mention my friend alex? ill get to him next post. so any way, we have fun there, then i get picked up and taken to a singing competiton. i thought i did my songs pretty well ( i sung thou swell from my conneticut yankee, and wheels of a dream from ragtime) so i went home and ate. i come back the next day for a workshop ( it was soo much fun, anyways), then we got the news. there was a tie for third place ( one of my friends and this other kid) then they said there was no second place!!!! and nither me or my other friend had been called up yet. so, turns out they thought we both were so great we got a tie for 1st!!
then we went to my moms co-worker's wedding reception,( and ate all the food!). i came home and played games with my brother. and now im here.
thx for those who took the time to read, until next tme, salut^^
.//kyros

step 1; people who just want to talk^ ^

i need people who will want to discuss random topics like:
* which blue do you like best on a wall
* why are cows a jumpstart to a conversation
* who likes french ( j'aime le francais XD)

so anyone with interests, i can probably math them so plz talk to me^^!

Opening Night

Welcome, welcome young and old to a show filled with the experienced naieve concience of an adolecent mind. now let me assure you, this show wil not be in the least bit boring, so sit back, relax, and enjoy.^^